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Friday, October 18, 2013

A Whole Month...

.....has passed since I last blogged. Am I now a monthly blogger? Sometimes I get a real go on, posting several blogs in a row, and then days go by before I write again.

Ah, such is the life of an undisciplined blogger.

I have been reading lots of very interesting blogs though, and one blog has encouraged me to let the art out, so I have been working on that.

My life is so ordinary, that I have nothing exciting to share, and that holds me back.
However, if I think hard about it, being exciting, was never the idea when I started this. My daughter had encouraged me to blog my thoughts. Well.....you really wouldn't want to read some of my thoughts, so it is a good thing that I do not post all of them.

I keep telling myself that if I don't have a neat picture to go with the blog, then it is not worth posting.
I know that is silly, and comparing this blog with others ends up being self-defeating.

I guess I am still in search of myself.....and at 70, I probably don't have a great deal of time left to find me. I am hiding in the shadows. I am hiding in the sorrows of loosing friends. I am hiding in the daily difficulties, aches and pains. I am hiding in the words that hurt and belittle. The painting is helping, and the weekly responsibilities keep me going.

Oh how I long to be a strong person, capable of overcoming obstacles without bruising.

Ah well, the days go by and I do the best I can, even if I go through self recrimination....
I will count my blessings, which are many, and carry on.
Not all the days are in shadow.
Sometimes the sun does shine.
Sometimes the wind is soft
And the rain gentle.
The storms will pass....

8 comments:

  1. Bonnie, I would much rather follow a blogger who posts irregularly, but as honestly as this, than a dozen daily bloggers who rabbit on about nothing.

    Life can be hard for all of us at times, especially as we get older and we all bruise if we bang into obstacles, though some of us are better at hiding the bruises. Go on painting and when you can, please do post some photos of your paintings. I for one would love to see them.

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    1. Thank you Perpetua. Sometimes I think God made me a sponge, because I seem to soak up the sadness, and sorrow, and difficulties of those around me whom I love. Sometimes I am full to bursting, and then the tears flow. I have so many wonderful friends.

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  2. I wish you didn't feel that your life is ordinary, Bonnie. I find that there is a moment in every ordinary day that can be extraordinary - we just have to recognize it. Now don't go thinking I'm the eternal optimist - I'm far from it. In fact, I have the same doubts about myself and my life that you have about yours. Perhaps this is just part of being human. At any rate, if you find comfort in art, then do that, and those of us who find comfort in your words will cherish them - however frequently or infrequently they appear. <3

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    1. Thank you Stacy. I know in my head that I need to look at the glass half full, but all I have to do is goof up, and suddenly the glass is empty. Guess I have to fill it again, 1 drop at a time.

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  3. Bonnie,
    I send you wishes that your days may bring you joy.
    I too bruise easily.

    I do enjoy your posts.

    Margie
    x

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    1. I do enjoy your posts too, Margie. I have found encouragement from them.

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  4. It is my humble opinion that none of us is ordinary, none of us at all. I used to think that I lived the most boring of lives. Just sitting here in the woods twiddlin' my thumbs. The trick is seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary. To keep looking until the ordinary shines. P.S. Also I have some of the same doubts as you. It just may be universal.

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    1. Thanks Kathy. You are an expert is seeing the extraordinary, the plummeting eagles, as a marvelous example. I am so wishey washey. Stability of mind and body is my goal. Working on it.....it's been ongoing since I was about 25. I very much appreciate your encouraging words.

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