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Sunday, May 29, 2022

In the midst of weirdness



I exist. I cannot get past myself.
I am but I'm not.
Days merge, weeks slip into months 
Months into years
Yet all is the same.

Life has thrown me a huge curve ball
A strike out, definitely not a walk.
Definitely not a walk.
There will be no homers in this ball game,
No runs around the bases.
The dug out is where I am.

Pain is the story of my days and nights.
It depends on the day,
No consistency
Never know what to expect. 
Arthritis in lower spine, and hips,
Fibromyalgia teasing muscles in legs,
Finally vascular disease affecting legs and feet, 
And God only knows what else.

I went out today to see what I could accomplish
Discovering that I could do very little.
It crushes me.
I can not do what I want to do
And I am defeated.

Still there is nothing to do about it but carry on
One step (even if painful) in front of another.
One day at a time,
I'll soon be 79.
But not in my mind, which makes everything harder.
I think I can do what I can't physically do.....

The world is in such a state now,
It's hard to find anything that can make you smile.
Death, destruction, senseless violence,
Little children dying in a classroom,
Teachers too.....
Indigenous children's graves found 
Beside residential school.
Customers shot to death in a grocery store.
And on and on and on.
Life is cruel to so many.






These are just what I call my state of mind......





This is a felted bench cover, that Aslan has decided to lie on,


Here he is climbing where he shouldn't be climbing


Well, I guess I'll stop here and try to enjoy the sun that is
shining today. I'll try to think of good things.

Take care







Saturday, December 25, 2021

Time, where does it go?

      I cannot believe how fast the weeks seem to go. It is especially strange because my days are not filled with lots of activities. In fact, I am lucky to get a few things done in the course of the day. I procrastinate like you wouldn't believe. So, why I ask, is it already mid December, and how did I get here so fast

We had a heavy snowfall two days ago, and today the rains come. Heavy rain. And wind. Snow plus rain equals lots of water, with possible flooding. Not exactly something I'm looking forward to.

A few days have passed, and I have been trying to get ready for Christmas.....at least I managed to get the things I absolutely needed to get.  Christmas is definitely different this year. Dawn and the granddaughters were able to come in for present opening, but they all wore masks. Covid is rampant in NS, worse than ever. The latest variant is sure taking its toll on our province. 

My little Christmas tree is pathetic, so I'll show you my friend's tree. She says most of the decorations on it are from me. I usually gave decorations to my choir.



A visitor to my side lawn back before all the leaves had fallen

Aslan in one of his few quiet moments



My Christmas card this year, and I extend to anyone who still drops by, all good
things for the year to come. May Covid not get any worse than it is now.

Cheers and Best Wishes
from
Bonnie & Aslan 

 

Monday, August 2, 2021

 So, I see that my last post was in April. I have to read it to see what happened. I think that since then, we have both gotten our 2 covid 19 vaccines. I'm happy about that.

The Captain did not get his first shot as planned. He went into the hospital the night before he was to have it and was in for a week. He was not impressed, since the hospital is the last place he would want to be. However, it was necessary. Along with a few other things he had a stone in the bile duct, and had to go to the city to get it removed. He would not have anything else done, and so was discharged. He does have homecare once a week now, to help him shower.

My legs and feet are still giving me problems, but I shall unload on my doctor next week, and see what happens. I don't know if it is Fibromyalgia or not. Guess I'll find out.

We are expecting the remnants of tropical storm Elsa to hit us tonight with heavy rains and wind. Hope it isn't too bad.

The last Sunday in June, we were able to have in person church again, with masks and social distancing, but in person. We had been closed down for about 8 weeks again because of the covid variant. The province is doing fairly well, at this point.

Today, the 2nd of August, leaves me wondering where July went. Is it just that I am getting older that the time passes so fast, or am I passing out for 2 or 3 days during the week. It seems like summer just got here and it is half gone. There was so much I wanted to do outside but didn't get to. My legs will not let me do very much. The Doctor is a bit concerned and I will be seeing a vascular doc to get some tests done, since she thinks part of my problem is circulation. That would not explain the problems I've had over the years. Anyhow, I imagine it will be a while before I get an appointment, as things have backed up due to Covid. 

A few pictures to end off with. My garden is a disaster area this summer, but the flowers still find their place to bloom.



Some fun I had with coloured pens. I could spend hours just testing, trying things out. 


Summer is so hard on a poor little kitty.



Well, time to stop. I've got laundry in the washer and the dryer, and I'm pretty sure they won't move on their own. Guess I'd better get moving. 
So long for now,

Aslan & Bonnie


Sunday, April 25, 2021

Oh me, oh my.....

I had a partial post written, but so much time has passed that it was old news. The story of my life. Always  behind. I suppose it is because every day seems the same, except for a trip to the ER in an ambulance over our potholed roads. That was on Palm Sunday evening. I managed to be sick enough that my daughter was concerned and called 911. I was checked out, and sent home after about 4 hours. A little anxiety and a panic attack en route to hospital would leave me hurting, because of my fibromyalgia. So I got over the sick spell, but am still paying the price. It is better, thank heaven.

The upshot of all that is that our daughters decided we should investigate home care. The worry is that should something happen to me we had to have something in place for the Captain. It appears that I am a 24/7 caregiver. We are going to get the life alert, in case one of us has a fall. This would be good if I'm out for groceries, or whatever.  The Captain refuses most of the help suggested by the homecare representative so we didn't get far with that.  We are fortunate to be able to get our first shot of covid vaccine this Friday. 

I am glad that spring has arrived even though some days are quite chilly.  At least the sun shines once in a while. I am anxious to get out and putter in the garden, but my body is not ready yet. I can't seem to walk very far, and when I do attempt housework,  the movement bothers my back which is sore all the time anyway. 

Well, I got my Covid shot on Friday. My arm is a bit sore, and I have a bit of a headache but it is not too bad.

 Things are changing in this household as I write this, so I'll leave this now.

Here's to one day at a time.


Saturday, February 20, 2021

Lambs, lambs, and more lambs, hooray!

 Well, I finally got to go to Ironwood Farm, to see Heather and Rupert, and all of those baby lambs. Oh, it's my happy place for sure. It was cold, but it was great to see all the ewes and their little ones. And we had takeout lunch from the Flying Apron, which was so good. (It always is).  I got the Captain's lunch and supper ready for him, so he could get them himself, and off I went with Dawn and Lindsay. A whole day away, to my happy place. YES!!!!! Rae and Colton joined us and we had a great day together.

Several of the lambs need extra nourishment and are bottle fed. There were several sets of triplets and I think some quads. Now I must say that I was so busy looking that I didn't get pictures taken. Duh.


Here we are feeding one group of lambs


This is a special little girl, whose name is Squishy.
Rupert found her squished by probably her mother's foot, and
she was cold and needed attention. She spent some time in the
house, and seems to be none the worse for wear, but she likes
snuggles. I could have snuggled her all day.

I asked Lindsay to take a picture with my phone, and she did,
every 30 seconds. When I looked I had about 12 pictures of me and Squishy.
I won't bore you with the rest of them.

Their little faces are so sweet.

I do believe that this is one picture that I managed to take.

This is the farm, with its snowbanks.

This is the snow at my place

And, I could not post without a picture of Aslan. He 
missed me while I was gone. I think this is the longest I have been 
away, since last February.

Both the Captain and Aslan survived the day.

As a caregiver, the few hours away were a welcome change of pace. Good for the spirit, emotions, mental health, and mind, (which I am slowly losing).




Friday, February 5, 2021

February

 And just like that, January is gone. We had a good dump of snow on the ground this morning, and then it has been raining all afternoon. Ahhh, winter in Nova Scotia. I haven't been plowed out yet, but I didn't really expect to be. (We did get plowed out around supper time.)

We are, like the rest of the world still on guard against the virus. Our province continues to do well, with 0 new cases one day and perhaps 1 the next. I think we have 10 or 11 active cases.

And just like that it's the next day, the sun is shining, I see blue sky, and a lot of the snow has disappeared. I made my way around the puddles in the driveway to take my green bin and recycling bags out to the road side .There is still lots of snow on the lawn and in the woods.

Ventured out for a walk to the mailbox. It's a little ways down the road. Our mailbox was lying in the snow, a victim of the snowplow or the heavy snow thrown against it. Needless to say the items in the mailbox were like wet rags. Sent a text to dear daughter #1, telling her of my problem, and she said she would have a look. Not a half hour later there she was, the jack of all trades to the rescue. She was able to put it back up, a temporary fix, and a new mailbox will be on the to get list. Fingers crossed that the fix will hold until Spring.

Lambing time has begun at Ironwood. I would love to get there before the lambs get too big. They grow so fast. One ewe had triplets, and another had a big single lamb that Daughter #2 had to give help to. I think the running total is 13, last I heard, and it is probably more by now.

I have taken very few pictures in the past few months, so I have nothing to share right now. I'll see what I can find.

So, I looked, and I really have nothing to show. I am really falling down on the job. If I was more active, and could take walks in the woods, or snow shoe in the orchard, I would have some neat photos to share, as my daughters do. I can just see it now, as I find myself lying in the snowbank, because my legs gave out. There I am, on my back, staring at the cloudy sky, getting wet and cold, and thinking that I would just lie there until my strength returned, or wait till spring, or.....never mind, it's a silly thought.

Since it has taken me 4 days to get this far, I think I will post this before Aslan, who is now lying beside the laptop, anxious to do something bad, looking at me with half closed lives, is purring away. Maybe I'll try and get a picture.......

                                                     And here he is, such a good little kitty






I have been working on this painting for
months. It's not finished yet. 


And this is it till next time.

Stay safe all.








Thursday, December 31, 2020

Farewell 2020


Yes, goodbye 2020, I'm not sad to see you go. What a strange year, not only for me, but the whole world. Covid 19 has wrecked havoc on us all. Here in Nova Scotia, we have been fairly lucky compared to most other provinces to our west. The Atlantic provinces have managed to keep numbers low, and that's a good thing. Still, I am being very careful, keeping my contacts low, and not going shopping unless absolutely necessary. We must wear masks in stores, and keep the physical distance. I did all my Christmas shopping in our local independent book store. I just didn't want to brave the bigger stores.

We still have health rules about gathering for worship services, masks and distancing, no singing, and it makes for a rather strange service with a small congregation spread out over the whole space.  I sure miss having the choir singing. Our pastor is doing double duty. He does an on line service, and the in person one. 

I think one of the main things I have missed for the past 9 months is being able to hug. At least I am able to hug my girls. I am still being careful to not have visitors except for 2 friends of  the Captain. They come Sunday morning for coffee, while I'm at church. 

I had a visit today from a young friend and his girlfriend. I felt bad that we had to chat outside, but that's the way it is. I was lovely seeing him. I've known him since he was a baby. He's such a nice young man. 

Now, the dishes are waiting for me, sitting on the counter, and I know they won't wash themselves. I really want to finish this before the year ends. Leave it on a high note so to speak. 


This is my Christmas card this year. 

Aslan having a little nap, where he shouldn't be napping of course.

He does this quite often, usually when I'm trying to accomplish something

for instance, when I am trying to paint

I had to put Aslan in the basement a few times to get these and 14 more snowflakes done.

You can see why I have to remove him.

Anyhow, this is it, the end of the year and the end of this post.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year
May we all stay safe
as we wait to get vaccinated