Sunday, May 29, 2022

In the midst of weirdness

I exist. I cannot get past myself.
I am but I'm not.
Days merge, weeks slip into months 
Months into years
Yet all is the same.

Life has thrown me a huge curve ball
A strike out, definitely not a walk.
Definitely not a walk.
There will be no homers in this ball game,
No runs around the bases.
The dug out is where I am.

Pain is the story of my days and nights.
It depends on the day,
No consistency
Never know what to expect. 
Arthritis in lower spine, and hips,
Fibromyalgia teasing muscles in legs,
Finally vascular disease affecting legs and feet, 
And God only knows what else.

I went out today to see what I could accomplish
Discovering that I could do very little.
It crushes me.
I can not do what I want to do
And I am defeated.

Still there is nothing to do about it but carry on
One step (even if painful) in front of another.
One day at a time,
I'll soon be 79.
But not in my mind, which makes everything harder.
I think I can do what I can't physically do.....

The world is in such a state now,
It's hard to find anything that can make you smile.
Death, destruction, senseless violence,
Little children dying in a classroom,
Teachers too.....
Indigenous children's graves found 
Beside residential school.
Customers shot to death in a grocery store.
And on and on and on.
Life is cruel to so many.

These are just what I call my state of mind......

This is a felted bench cover, that Aslan has decided to lie on,

Here he is climbing where he shouldn't be climbing

Well, I guess I'll stop here and try to enjoy the sun that is
shining today. I'll try to think of good things.

Take care

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